2008 Woodie Awards
Trust me, I know everything: One senior's reflection
Beth Prosnitz
Issue date: 9/5/06 Section: Opinions
I have officially reinforced my staring problem as I meditate upon topics for my first Sophian column in a year and a half. So for those degraded by a seemingly threatening stare from a short, curly-haired girl, please accept my apologies; I was only mulling ideas over, not psychoanalyzing you based on your choice of shoes.
So here I am, unintentionally glaring at you, freezing in an unusually cold September, grappling with the reality of my existence at Smith, all while trying to figure out a substantive topic for a column. I'm sure you pity me, as any thoughtful, sensitive person who has gotten this far in my column would. And as a thoughtful and sensitive incoming senior, I feel a slight obligation to impart wisdom about college life, learning and how to answer all of life's greatest questions. After all, I am a Smith College senior, which means that my wisdom is impeccable and infallible.
Just because I like you, I will gift you a piece of that wisdom for free. I know, amazing that someone would provide you information and knowledge for free. But I must request that you please hold your impetuous-wisdom-seeking horses, for I can only afford to dole out small portions of well developed thought at a time. (I would like to charge, but unfortunately for me, the Sophian is a free publication. Seriously, if the Sophian has learned anything from Smith, it's that exorbitant costs signify a greater quality of knowledge. So I say, charge away!)
Ok, to the point. As a Smith College senior, what are my thoughts, fears, and emotional quandaries? What experiences have shaped my attitudes towards this college and my academic career? How have I emerged as an engaged student over the years? What contributed to my decision to eat the entire sunflower seed rather than the meat of the seed?
First and foremost, I prefer to eat the entire seed because a) I like the saltiness of the entire thing and b) remnants are lame.
Secondly, I refined my academic engagements through underlining with black pen or pencil rather than highlighter. It's far less juvenile and, frankly, more official. I made the leap from wide ruled to college ruled paper. I also made the decision that trash television rules all, because, let's be honest, the "dumbing down" of America makes me look all the smarter.
So here I am, unintentionally glaring at you, freezing in an unusually cold September, grappling with the reality of my existence at Smith, all while trying to figure out a substantive topic for a column. I'm sure you pity me, as any thoughtful, sensitive person who has gotten this far in my column would. And as a thoughtful and sensitive incoming senior, I feel a slight obligation to impart wisdom about college life, learning and how to answer all of life's greatest questions. After all, I am a Smith College senior, which means that my wisdom is impeccable and infallible.
Just because I like you, I will gift you a piece of that wisdom for free. I know, amazing that someone would provide you information and knowledge for free. But I must request that you please hold your impetuous-wisdom-seeking horses, for I can only afford to dole out small portions of well developed thought at a time. (I would like to charge, but unfortunately for me, the Sophian is a free publication. Seriously, if the Sophian has learned anything from Smith, it's that exorbitant costs signify a greater quality of knowledge. So I say, charge away!)
Ok, to the point. As a Smith College senior, what are my thoughts, fears, and emotional quandaries? What experiences have shaped my attitudes towards this college and my academic career? How have I emerged as an engaged student over the years? What contributed to my decision to eat the entire sunflower seed rather than the meat of the seed?
First and foremost, I prefer to eat the entire seed because a) I like the saltiness of the entire thing and b) remnants are lame.
Secondly, I refined my academic engagements through underlining with black pen or pencil rather than highlighter. It's far less juvenile and, frankly, more official. I made the leap from wide ruled to college ruled paper. I also made the decision that trash television rules all, because, let's be honest, the "dumbing down" of America makes me look all the smarter.
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