2008 Woodie Awards
Tongue in Cheek, Pen in Hand
Sucked Into the Google Trap
Jennifer Gabrielle
Issue date: 4/13/06 Section: Features
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I discovered just how dependent I am upon googling my uncertainties away when I recently tried to write a paper without Internet access. It was a painful mistake. Random information is necessary to the writing process, but there's only so much knowledge you can expect from the people in your near vicinity. With Google, you can search anything to your little heart's content.
And that's the power of Google: You can search anything - and you probably do. There's no denying the status of a noun that has gained a dual function as a verb. Although this seems helpful, the search results often produce irrelevant links to bizarre sites, which, of course, you are then obligated to check out, if only to expand your horizons. That's why you came to college, isn't it?
I decided to test Google to see if it is really as big a waste of time as other Internet black holes -whose names I won't even mention for fear of getting sucked in - so I devised a meticulous scientific process for testing my hypothesis. I had plans to analyze the data, write up a report and submit my findings for publication in all the top science journals. Then I got distracted.
Did you know there's a site for virtual chocolate?
I must have been in the middle of a craving when I unconsciously googled "chocolate." Among recipe and retail sites, I found none other than Blake O'Hare's Nerd Paradise. You can take the Nerdity Test, chat with others about Star Trek and other sci-fi entertainment or buy Nerd Gear like a pi poster or a coffee mug picturing a squirrel with a solved Rubik's cube.
Frightened, I closed my browser window and reached for some chocolate to boost my endorphin level. I think I've actually seen that squirrel by the engineering building.
Returning to the claim that you can google anything, I decided to google "anything." What caught my eye was a link titled, "Anything That Moves - The Magazine for the Uncompromising Bisexual." I clicked on it, in the name of science. It turned out to be a site for the Bay Area Bisexual Network in San Francisco, which provides resources, a calendar of events and volunteer opportunities with the network. I particularly enjoyed the clever support group for bisexual women in the queer female community: the Chasing Amy Social Club. And if you haven't seen the movie "Chasing Amy," don't worry - Google can help you.
And that's the power of Google: You can search anything - and you probably do. There's no denying the status of a noun that has gained a dual function as a verb. Although this seems helpful, the search results often produce irrelevant links to bizarre sites, which, of course, you are then obligated to check out, if only to expand your horizons. That's why you came to college, isn't it?
I decided to test Google to see if it is really as big a waste of time as other Internet black holes -whose names I won't even mention for fear of getting sucked in - so I devised a meticulous scientific process for testing my hypothesis. I had plans to analyze the data, write up a report and submit my findings for publication in all the top science journals. Then I got distracted.
Did you know there's a site for virtual chocolate?
I must have been in the middle of a craving when I unconsciously googled "chocolate." Among recipe and retail sites, I found none other than Blake O'Hare's Nerd Paradise. You can take the Nerdity Test, chat with others about Star Trek and other sci-fi entertainment or buy Nerd Gear like a pi poster or a coffee mug picturing a squirrel with a solved Rubik's cube.
Frightened, I closed my browser window and reached for some chocolate to boost my endorphin level. I think I've actually seen that squirrel by the engineering building.
Returning to the claim that you can google anything, I decided to google "anything." What caught my eye was a link titled, "Anything That Moves - The Magazine for the Uncompromising Bisexual." I clicked on it, in the name of science. It turned out to be a site for the Bay Area Bisexual Network in San Francisco, which provides resources, a calendar of events and volunteer opportunities with the network. I particularly enjoyed the clever support group for bisexual women in the queer female community: the Chasing Amy Social Club. And if you haven't seen the movie "Chasing Amy," don't worry - Google can help you.