2008 Woodie Awards
Immaculate Compilation: Is the iTunes "Genius" Feature the God Your Indie Lover Prays To?
Elizabeth Pusack
Issue date: 10/2/08 Section: Arts
Is it a coincidence that iTunes' new "Genius" feature icon bears more than a passing resemblance to the Hadron Collider? We caution Sub-Atomic Physicists and Modest Mouse fans alike against tempting fate by bashing particles against one another and trusting voodoo playlists respectively. The space/time continuum is at risk. "Let Genius reacquaint you with the music you already own," sweet-talks Mac.com - which, incidentally, has started tossing around the word "Genius" like pop-up windows do "Free iPod!" But in the apparently immortal words of Third Eye Blind, or something like them, sometimes you just have to "put the past away!"
Even if "Genius" was not often divinely inspired to resurrect Del Amitri - thereby risking an apocalyptic commotion we cannot blame on the Mayans - it is cheating. Giving your girlfriend a mix made by "Genius" is a bit like having your secretary pick up your wife's Valentine truffles on her lunch break. Rob Gordon ("High Fidelity") would roll over in his grave if he were real and dead. Or maybe we are missing the point - maybe your laptop is your indie genius boyfriend who gets why you still like Lou Bega.
Since, unlike the Hadron physicists, we promote prudence and rational thought, we conducted an experiment: What kind of shit would we talk about "Genius" if it were a prospective mate and made us this mix?
1. In an effort to proceed from some innocuously romantic number, we start with Eagle Eye Cherry's "Save Tonight," which is not exactly innocuous but at least is not Aqualung, and, with bated breath, click the "Genius" button on the bottom right hand corner of the iTunes window. Here is what happens:
2. Aqualung, "Brighter than Sunshine." How very genius of iTunes Store. We think Matt Hale might actually be Steve Jobs in a parka.
3. John Mayer, "No Such Thing." The feature "just found out there's no such thing as the real world." That's pretty astute coming from a virtual boyfriend.
4, 5 and 6. The Shins, The Cure, The Dandy Warhols. Shameless overcompensation for milque-toastiness of first three tracks.
Even if "Genius" was not often divinely inspired to resurrect Del Amitri - thereby risking an apocalyptic commotion we cannot blame on the Mayans - it is cheating. Giving your girlfriend a mix made by "Genius" is a bit like having your secretary pick up your wife's Valentine truffles on her lunch break. Rob Gordon ("High Fidelity") would roll over in his grave if he were real and dead. Or maybe we are missing the point - maybe your laptop is your indie genius boyfriend who gets why you still like Lou Bega.
Since, unlike the Hadron physicists, we promote prudence and rational thought, we conducted an experiment: What kind of shit would we talk about "Genius" if it were a prospective mate and made us this mix?
1. In an effort to proceed from some innocuously romantic number, we start with Eagle Eye Cherry's "Save Tonight," which is not exactly innocuous but at least is not Aqualung, and, with bated breath, click the "Genius" button on the bottom right hand corner of the iTunes window. Here is what happens:
2. Aqualung, "Brighter than Sunshine." How very genius of iTunes Store. We think Matt Hale might actually be Steve Jobs in a parka.
3. John Mayer, "No Such Thing." The feature "just found out there's no such thing as the real world." That's pretty astute coming from a virtual boyfriend.
4, 5 and 6. The Shins, The Cure, The Dandy Warhols. Shameless overcompensation for milque-toastiness of first three tracks.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
ryan Norton
posted 11/18/08 @ 1:31 AM EST
ummm...
this feature's terms and conditions read like an invitation to big brother if ever i've read one.
there was a cancel button and i clicked it as soon as i concluded there was no "holy shit! hell NO!" button
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